“Every teacher should be first a teacher of humanity and then a teacher of his subject”, Haim Ginott

How can the tools from “How to talk, so kids will listen” help with homeschooling our children?

Homeschooling can be a very stressful thing, for children and for parents, especially if the parents are also expected to get a fulltime week of work done at home. It can be frustrating, discouraging and upsetting. Children can express all these feelings in different ways: not wanting to do the work, being upset about small things, repeatedly saying they don’t know what the teacher means or know what work needs to be done. It is important to acknowledge their feelings about the homeschooling. It is hard for children to change their behaviour when their feelings are ignored and when feelings are ignored , a child can easily become discouraged. Acknowledging their feelings helps them.

“It’s hard to be busy with schoolwork all day, when you’d rather play outside in the sunshine now”.

“I bet you wish this week was over and you could be in charge of your own time again in the weekend.”

“Wouldn’t it be great if the government would announce the crisis is over and we would all be able to go back to our old lives! What would the first thing be you want to do then? I would want to go for an ice cream to the ice cream shop!”

Be aware not to end the sentence with “but, that’s just the way it is....” or “but, you are going to have to do it anyway...” With the word but you dismiss the whole first part of the sentence. It says: I know how you feel and now I will tell you, there is no need for you to feel that way. Replace “but” with “the problem is” or “even though you know” and you leave the child entitled to his feelings and you point out the reality without dismissing the feelings. “It can be hard being inside all day, even though you know it is the right thing to do now.”

Praise and criticism

When praising our children, we sometimes use the same words over and over again: “Great work!”, “Good job!” “Amazing work”. We evaluate the outcome of their work and with that we unintentionally make them dependent on others for approval. Instead of that, we want our children to trust their own judgement, to have enough confidence to evaluate themselves and make corrections or adjustments based on their own evaluations. By describing a child’s accomplishments, rather than evaluating them with a “good” or “great” we give them this opportunity. It does take more effort and thought to describe a child’s achievement and put into words what you see, but it will give your child the kind of

become independent thinkers and doers. So instead of evaluating, describe what you hear, feel or see.

Instead of: “Good job, you finished all your tasks today!” Try: “You concentrated on your work and didn’t stop until you were finished”.

Instead of: “Your graph looks great!” Try: “You marked all your data points, connected them with a straight line and both your axes are clearly labeled.”

Also, instead of criticizing you can point out the progress that’s been made and focus on what is done already.

Instead of: “You still haven’t done the last two problems, in the rate you are going, you are never going to finish it”. Try: “You’re more than halfway through, three problems done and only two more to go”.

Want to know more about “How to talk, so kids will listen” and how it can help you to make homeschooling easier? Contact me on Jasperine.groeneveld@assk.info.