“Sometimes just having someone understand how much you want something makes reality easier to bear”.

Our children are so important to us. We love them, take care of them, nurture them, cuddle them, teach them, make sure to get the best possible education. They are so important to us. Why is then so hard sometimes to understand them and let them know we get it.

An example:

Nine year-old Erik, comes home from school and is so angry. The picnic they were supposed to have got canceled due to rain.

Erik's father could respond with something like: “There is no point in crying because of the rain. Don’t worry, there will definitely be a picnic later. Anyway, it's not my fault it is raining, so why are you so angry with me? ”The result would be that Erik throws his bag in the corner and runs up to his room.

or…. Erik’s father could think: I see that Erik is really disappointed to have missed this picnic. This is his way of sharing his feelings with me. He feels what he does, and he is entitled to that. The best thing I can do is show that I understand him and respect his feelings.

So he says to Erik: You seem very disappointed.

Erik: Yes!

Dad: You were looking forward to this picnic!

Erik: Yeah, really!!

Dad: You had everything ready, but then the stupid rain came and ruined everything.

Erik: Yes, that's exactly how it was!

After a pause of silence, Erik says: Yes, stupid rain, but I am sure there’ll be a picnic another time and then it won’t rain!

This is the most important building block of “How to talk so kids will listen”. With hands-on exercises and examples we translate the theory into real life. This helps us to respond to our children with respect in everyday life. It is not easy, but certainly possible, with a little bit of training.

Do you want to try the method yourself? Check the opportunities for courses on the website https//www.assk.info or facebook/assk.info.